Hi Reader,

One of my favorite moments of the summer was seeing this sign on the way to drop kids off at camp:​​

And of course, given the age of the kids in my car, seeing a sign that reads “YOU PEED” is profoundly funny.

It reminded me

• That having thoughts, insights, or even letters covered up, fundamentally changes the meaning that we can make
• That having things obscured makes it hard for people around us to know what’s really going on
• Of so many well-intentioned leaders I’ve encountered over the years who aren’t able to make sound decisions because they live in a skewed sense of reality – and then are confused or caught off guard when things blow up

We often hear arguments of why people need to speak up:

• Because people don’t know what you’re thinking if you don’t share
• Because people don’t know your value unless you say something
• Because people can’t read your mind

Equally worthwhile to ask and examine is – how can we increase the likelihood people are willing to share their ideas, thoughts, expertise, and of themselves? Because each of our choices impact whether someone else choose to share of themselves.

Whether people speak up is ultimately up to them, but we can influence whether it seems worthwhile for them to do so. Below are three ways to reduce the costs of speaking up for someone else:

1. Lower the barriers – typing vs. talking, real-time vs. asynchronous, in person vs. virtual, morning vs. evening, invite people to use the mediums and modes that are easiest for them to communicate in rather than requiring them to communicate the way you would
2. Make the implicit explicit – many people assume that if someone had something to say, they would say it. After all, that’s what we would do. But not everyone operates from the same assumptions. If you’re curious what folks see, ask open ended questions to invite input.
3. Reward voice – saying “thank you for sharing” is a start, but what’s rewarded becomes the rule. Who continues to get invited to the meeting? Who has to deal with your defensive reaction? Who gets promoted? Are you rewarding voice or silence with your actions?

For more ideas on how to get those around you to speak up, especially if they report to you, check out the 5 ideas I offer in this Harvard Business Review article “How to get your team to actually speak up”​

To surfacing missing pieces,

Elaine

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When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…

1. ​Connect with me on LinkedIn for tips on leadership, communication, and navigating toxic workplaces weekdays at 9am ET.
2. ​Order my book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024) – for yourself, or for someone you care about.
3. ​Hire me to speak virtually or in person.