Hi Reader,

I’ve worked with so many leaders over the years who are frustrated with people on their teams. Why won’t they speak up? I want people to tell me what’s really going on. I can’t help if they don’t say something. I need them to tell me before things get bad. Why won’t they just say something?

There is an understandable frustration, often even a deep annoyance. After all, those leaders see themselves as approachable, understanding, and constructive. So why don’t their people “just do their part” by speaking up?

Here’s a question to consider: as a leader, what choices are you leaving the people on your team?

In 1970, Economist Albert Hirschman observed that in organizations, people had three choices: Exit, Voice, or Loyalty.

On healthy teams, people can and do share perspectives, insights, disagreement, dissent. There is VOICE. If voice isn’t an option because retaliation, backlash, relationships make it too costly, then two options remain: EXIT or LOYALTY.

The people who can find other jobs or afford to leave EXIT. Those who can’t EXIT remain LOYAL.

The loyal nod in agreement even if they disagree. They say “sounds great” when it’s not. Often, they stay silent instead of saying what they really think. Slowly, their ability to see differently and help us course correct dulls.

And we contribute to that dynamic by rewarding loyalty. Not intentionally, of course. But by who we promote, give prize assignments, go to lunch with, say is “a great team player”, or speak well of when discussing their performance.

Here’s the thing – while this loyalty might make things run more smoothly day to day because there’s no ”pushback” or “squeaky wheels,” the lack of different perspectives leaves us in an echo chamber and prey to groupthink, a skewed sense of reality, and little opportunity to address real issues.
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It’s also worth noting that none of our actions exist in a vacuum. When increasing pushes toward loyalty are part of daily headlines, people can assume that loyalty is what we also expect. So if you’re intending to cultivate VOICE on your team (and frankly, in your personal relationships as well!) rather than encourage EXIT or LOYALTY, here are a few actions that can help:

• ASK - “What are we missing?” Or “What questions should we be asking that we haven’t yet?” The use of “we” builds affiliation, signaling that it’s not you as the leader vs. them. It also normalizes that none of us have the complete picture and there’s always going to be something that we’ve missed. Instead of requiring anyone person to have all the answer, the wonderment allows people to name questions for the group to wrestle with together.
• CONSIDER - “What are people thinking and feeling but not necessarily saying?” Putting yourself in someone’s shoes and naming what might be there helps build trust because it signals awareness and consideration of the people and groups. Being able to name a question, doubt, or thought makes it more discussible without someone having to take the risk to name it themselves.
• REWARD - People tend to repeat behaviors that we appreciate. Even if their perspective isn’t what you were expecting or necessarily wanting to hear, saying “thank you for saying something” goes a long way. But as always, actions speak louder than words. Who will you celebrate or champion? The person who chose VOICE, or the one who chose LOYALTY?

If you’re looking for more ways to make VOICE a real option so EXIT and LOYALTY aren’t the only options, consider my Harvard Business Review article “How to Get Your Team to Actually Speak Up” a resource.

Which choices are you making available to the people you lead today?

Elaine

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When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…

1. ​Connect with me on LinkedIn for tips on leadership, communication, and navigating toxic workplaces weekdays at 9am ET.
2. ​Order my book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024) – for yourself, or for someone you care about.
3. ​Hire me to speak virtually or in person.