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How to Use Your Voice

I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.

Featured Post

What People Get Wrong When Deciding Whether to Speak Up

Hi Reader, As humans, we're incredibly attune to how costly speaking up can be. If the cost of sharing our perspectives, insights, expertise, or ourselves is too high, then it makes sense that we wouldn't want to incur those costs. But what if we’re making these choices to speak up or stay silent based on incomplete analysis? I don’t know about you, but I don’t typically sit around and do a slow pro/con evaluation. The calculation of whether to speak up is typically split-second and often...

Hi Reader, Why don’t smart, capable people speak up? One unexpected reason is what psychologists call expert blindness. When you’re really good at something, you can forget – or be blind to – the fact that others can’t always see what you see or do what you do. Research often focuses on how expert blindness makes it difficult for experts to teach their expertise to others. But I want to focus on another gnarly side effect of being an expert – you can easily underestimate the power of your...

Hi Reader, Whose responsibility is it to make a conversation productive? You might argue that it’s their responsibility to speak up. They might argue that it’s your responsibility to make it safe for them to share. After all, if the real or perceived costs of speaking up are too great, silence makes sense. Power dynamics, life experiences, emotion, and perception all shape whether we dance around issues or really talk about what’s at stake. Too often, we get stuck in a cycle of pointing...

Hi Reader, A marketing director recently described how she had no problem speaking her mind to her peers. But put her in the C-Suite? That’s when it was hardest. It wasn’t just that she was the only one without a C level title. It was also that she didn’t think she had the credentials – she had gone to a state school while the C-levels were fancy-pants-Yales-and-Harvards. Speaking up can be hard enough. Speaking up when it’s up the org chart? When you feel out-credentialed? Even harder. Often...

Hi Reader, Ever feel like you’re the only one who cares? About people, values, integrity — while the system rewards speed and spin? You’re not alone. “What if people don’t care about this stuff?” was the question an astute participant asked at the end of a recent workshop I led on creating cultures of voice at work. It’s a great question, and one you might also be asking as you’re thinking: Yeah, Elaine, it would be great if I could speak my mind. It would be amazing if the leader I report to...

Hi Reader, I started writing this newsletter before multiple shootings happened in the United States last week. Soon after, people across industries were fired for comments and the limits of free speech shifted from what academics theory to poignant reality. Those events made the question even more urgent: If silence is the norm or expectation, then how do you actually use your voice? Here are three thoughts: 1) Broaden your definition of voice Voice isn’t just what you say in a meeting. It’s...

Hi Reader, “If you’ve always been the quiet one, won’t it be strange if you start using your voice now?” That was the question a participant typed into chat at the end of a recent virtual fireside chat. The tension was palpable in her question, even through letters on a screen. My short answer to her? Yes. It will likely feel strange – but not because using your voice is inherently wrong, bad, or that you’re doing it wrong. It will likely feel strange because, like wearing a new pair of shoes...

Hi Reader, I’ve worked with so many leaders over the years who are frustrated with people on their teams. Why won’t they speak up? I want people to tell me what’s really going on. I can’t help if they don’t say something. I need them to tell me before things get bad. Why won’t they just say something? There is an understandable frustration, often even a deep annoyance. After all, those leaders see themselves as approachable, understanding, and constructive. So why don’t their people “just do...

Hi Reader, Whether you’re sitting in a leadership meeting or in a 1:1 with your manager, there are times when speaking up can seem risky. If I bite my tongue and keep the thought to myself, we can all just move on with our lives. If I tell myself that the question running through my head is silly, then we can end the meeting and everyone tackle the next thing on our to-do lists. Or so we tell ourselves. And in a split second, the moment has passed. Our decision to stay silent might even seem...

Hi Reader, Do you wonder what history books will say about this time? I know I do. Daily headlines, volatility, and things “above our pay grades” can lead to confusion or despair. Are tariffs on or off? Do I have a job or not?In all of this, what does it mean to use your voice? And where do you even start? Here are 3 things you can do when you don’t know how to use your voice. They lay the groundwork for being able to show up, and sustainably so. 1) Identify your values What do you stand for?...