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How to Use Your Voice

I help leaders create environments that support rather than silence people, AND I help individuals use their voices to build the lives and world they want. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows they have a voice, uses their voice, and gets to choose when and where they lend their voice.

Featured Post

What We (Often) Get Wrong in Deciding Whether to Speak Up

Hi Reader, Whether you’re sitting in a leadership meeting or in a 1:1 with your manager, there are times when speaking up can seem risky. If I bite my tongue and keep the thought to myself, we can all just move on with our lives. If I tell myself that the question running through my head is silly, then we can end the meeting and everyone tackle the next thing on our to-do lists. Or so we tell ourselves. And in a split second, the moment has passed. Our decision to stay silent might even seem...

Hi Reader, Do you wonder what history books will say about this time? I know I do. Daily headlines, volatility, and things “above our pay grades” can lead to confusion or despair. Are tariffs on or off? Do I have a job or not?In all of this, what does it mean to use your voice? And where do you even start? Here are 3 things you can do when you don’t know how to use your voice. They lay the groundwork for being able to show up, and sustainably so. 1) Identify your values What do you stand for?...

Hi Reader, One of the emotions often associated with speaking up is fear. What will they think? What will they do? Will I lose my job? How will I provide for my household? And certainly, headlines in the United States these days can both amplify and reinforce that those fears are valid. Because they are. At the same time, unless we interrogate our fears, they too easily determine our actions. We default to silence, thinking that if we blend in, fly under the radar, don’t add fuel to the fire,...

Hi Reader, Last week I heard yet another well-intentioned leader say to their team — “I want to hear what you have to say. I won’t necessarily do it, but I want to hear it.” While I knew the leader was sincere in wanting people to speak up, I also cringed inside. Having heard and observed so many teams across industries, I know that comment usually comes from a good place and so often has mixed impact. I could hear employees in the room thinking – If you’re not going to do something about it,...

Hi Reader, Depending on the week you’ve had, you may be wondering whether your voice really matters at all. Definitions matter, so let’s start there: Your voice is not just the words you say in a meeting (or your vote), your voice is how you move through the world. When you’re 1 in an organization of 1000+, it’s easy to feel small. When you are 1 in 8 billion people on the planet, it’s easy to feel like what we do can’t influence the issues that seem far larger than any one of us. Consider...

Hi Reader, While speaking at a conference last week, someone in the audience asked: what do you do when people make it really costly for you to speak up? The lawyer in me wanted to ask for specifics. The human in me could see the pain she was carrying. The coach in me offered this: 1) Anchor to your bigger why - What matters to you more than immediate discomfort or the costs of speaking up? Is it making it better for the next generation? Is it a value of fairness and integrity? Why does it...

Hi Reader, The world is a noisy place. From non-stop news cycles to social media platforms and calls to use your voice, it’s hard to know where your voice fits in. It’s also a particularly tricky time to lead. As I work with corporate and community leaders to build cultures of voice rather than silence on their teams, the question I’m asked most is – how do I get people to say what they think AND also be respectful? One leader put it – “In pre-COVID days, people had a sense of ‘decorum’ and...

Hi Reader, One of my favorite moments of the summer was seeing this sign on the way to drop kids off at camp: YOUR SPEED traffic sign with edits And of course, given the age of the kids in my car, seeing a sign that reads “YOU PEED” is profoundly funny. It reminded me That having thoughts, insights, or even letters covered up, fundamentally changes the meaning that we can make That having things obscured makes it hard for people around us to know what’s really going on Of so many...

Hi Reader, So often when it comes speaking up or being heard, the advice boils down to some version of “just do it”. And that if you aren’t getting heard or getting the results that you want, it’s your problem - your deficiency. Repeated enough, it’s hard for that message not to turn into “you are deficient.” You need more courage. You need more confidence. You are the problem. If you would just [fill in the blank], then we’d be able to promote you. Then we could have you take the lead at the...

Hi Reader, The last flight I took had been delayed 3 hours, which meant folks trying to transfer through would barely make their connections. Before we landed, the flight attendant announced “we have 12 people trying to make extremely tight connections. If you’re not one of those people, please remain seated upon landing so they can deplane first.” They threw in a little forced empathy and social guilt, “If you were trying to make a flight, wouldn’t you want others to do that for you?” I’d...