I help leaders reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
What Have You Talked Yourself Out of Lately?
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Hi Reader, Waiting for perfect -- the perfect time, the perfect role, the perfect set of factors -- often leads to silence. Am I glad I did it? Absolutely. Because it will help someone know that it's not their fault if they find speaking up hard or they aren't getting heard -- and it offers some concrete ways to use your voice. If you find it useful, please like, comment, and share with someone who needs to hear it.
What have you talked yourself out of lately? The thing you'd do or say if you weren't waiting for perfect? Because doing it imperfectly still gets the message out. Still increases the likelihood they hear you, that you get your needs met, that you get credit, and that you learn something. Staying silent doesn't. Elaine When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…
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How to Use Your Voice
I help leaders reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
Hi Reader, Most of us were asked this question as kids: what do you want to be when you grow up? The question carries a kind of wonder. An acknowledgement that you’re not finished and are still becoming. But how we answer it matters. In classrooms, it often nudges kids to pick a profession before they know what a profession is. Then we’re surprised when, decades later, our jobs feel like our identities. At work, there’s a subtle but no less powerful version of this question at play. It sounds...
Hi Reader, If I've always been agreeable, won't it be weird if I start disagreeing? It will be weird. But not as weird as you think. Why? People aren't thinking as much about you as you are about yourself. The spotlight effect means we pay far more attention to ourselves than others pay to us. That makes sense. After all, we're the ones who live with the consequences of our choices. So will it feel weird to disagree with your manager or spouse when in the past you haven't? Maybe. It will feel...
Hi Reader, It's back-to-school season for many. It's a time of transition. When I asked how people are managing their schedules to deal with the inevitable load of kids experiencing restraint collapse, testing out new rhythms, and pre-frontal cortexes still growing, someone replied: just say no! It's great advice. And it can be hard for many of us. Why is it hard to say no? Because we genuinely want to be helpful. We want to be liked. We've been taught to serve. We've been rewarded for...