What Have You Talked Yourself Out of Lately?


Hi Reader,

Waiting for perfect -- the perfect time, the perfect role, the perfect set of factors -- often leads to silence.

5 years ago, I thought about doing a TEDx talk. It seemed like an effective way of sharing a big idea. After all, it worked for leadership gurus Simon Sinek and Brené Brown.

I strategized. I applied. Nothing.

3 years ago, I thought a TEDx talk was a prerequisite for launching a book correctly. I remember a conversation with my very wise literary agent Rachel who said "Elaine, some people need to do the talk in order to find their big idea. You already have yours."

My book Unlearning Silence launched as a USA Today Bestseller and has been translated into Spanish, Portuguese, Korean, Thai, Romanian, Dutch, etc.

Turns out there isn't one right way to do something.

2 years ago, I was accepted to give a TEDx talk in Dublin, Ireland. But I couldn't make the logistics work. Plus, a colleague had told me my idea was a TED main stage idea, not just a TEDx idea. Yes, the hierarchy of perception is real.

This March, I took the TEDx stage at Solano Community College Women. The first time event was built from scratch by a TED-loving college student carrying a full course load while serving 10,000+ in student government — one of many reasons young people give me so much hope.

My talk, "Stop Silencing Yourself," is now live. You can view it here.

Is it flawless? No. The perfectionist in me would give it a 98.5%

Am I glad I did it? Absolutely. Because it will help someone know that it's not their fault if they find speaking up hard or they aren't getting heard -- and it offers some concrete ways to use your voice. If you find it useful, please like, comment, and share with someone who needs to hear it.

Which brings me to:

What have you talked yourself out of lately? The thing you'd do or say if you weren't waiting for perfect?

Because doing it imperfectly still gets the message out. Still increases the likelihood they hear you, that you get your needs met, that you get credit, and that you learn something. Staying silent doesn't.

Believing in and for you,

Elaine

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When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…

  1. Check out my NEW free webinar "How to Speak Your Mind".
  2. Connect with me on LinkedIn for tips on leadership, communication, and navigating toxic workplaces weekdays at 9am ET.
  3. Hire me to speak virtually or in person.

How to Use Your Voice

I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.

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