I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
How to Speak Up When There's Hierarchy
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Hi Reader, A marketing director recently described how she had no problem speaking her mind to her peers. But put her in the C-Suite? That’s when it was hardest. It wasn’t just that she was the only one without a C level title. It was also that she didn’t think she had the credentials – she had gone to a state school while the C-levels were fancy-pants-Yales-and-Harvards. Speaking up can be hard enough. Speaking up when it’s up the org chart? When you feel out-credentialed? Even harder. Often we are focused on how those people control our paycheck, our promotion, and how they could make our lives miserable. Reality Check Having worked with clients who are global household names, in rooms with CEOs, and studied and then taught at Harvard Law, let me you in on a secret you: no one knows everything. Whether it’s the brand-name school, big-name company, years in the industry, or role within your institution – no one knows everything. No one can do everything. No one can see everything. So even if they are “up there” and you’re “down here”, they aren’t better or worse than you. They just have a different vantage point. What to Say If you’re wondering what words might come out when you open your mouth, try starting with “From where I sit…” From where I sit acknowledges the legitimacy and the limitation of your vantage point: the office you sit in, the role you hold, the department you represent, the life experiences you’ve had, the training, education, reps you’ve gotten. Instead of keeping quiet or diminishing your perspective because you might have missed something or don’t have all the answers, from where I sit allows you to name what you know and see. And from where I sit begs the question: “What do things look like from where you sit?” That’s the shift into conversation instead of conflict. The Leader’s Role If you manage or lead people, you’re part of the hierarchy – even if you don’t see yourself as that. You may think you’re “one of the good ones.” You may very well be. But you also hold the power to change the calculus for others, to make it less costly and more likely that they speak up. How? 1) Name what you want. A leader recently told me “I know that my perspective isn’t the only one. I want to hear what concerns people have.” My response: “Have you told people that?” No. It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d need to. What’s obvious to us (especially about our intent) is not obvious to the people we lead until we make it clear, typically with both words and action. 2) Give them status by naming the lens. It’s easier to join a conversation when asked than to figure your way in. Anyone could have lowered the stakes for the marketing director by saying “You’re the expert in marketing. What are we missing here?” Not only are you inviting someone into the conversation, you’re helping them see their value by naming the lens they bring. Giving them status doesn’t diminish your own. It simply helps everyone get a clearer sense of the overall picture. Your Move This week, practice one small shift: - If you’re the one speaking up, start with “From where I sit…” - If you’re the one higher up, ask one person “What are we missing?” Leaders can’t make sound decisions based on incomplete data. Make sure your perspectives, insights, and expertise are part of the data set. Elaine When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…
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How to Use Your Voice
I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
Hi Reader, As humans, we're incredibly attune to how costly speaking up can be. If the cost of sharing our perspectives, insights, expertise, or ourselves is too high, then it makes sense that we wouldn't want to incur those costs. But what if we’re making these choices to speak up or stay silent based on incomplete analysis? I don’t know about you, but I don’t typically sit around and do a slow pro/con evaluation. The calculation of whether to speak up is typically split-second and often...
Hi Reader, Why don’t smart, capable people speak up? One unexpected reason is what psychologists call expert blindness. When you’re really good at something, you can forget – or be blind to – the fact that others can’t always see what you see or do what you do. Research often focuses on how expert blindness makes it difficult for experts to teach their expertise to others. But I want to focus on another gnarly side effect of being an expert – you can easily underestimate the power of your...
Hi Reader, Whose responsibility is it to make a conversation productive? You might argue that it’s their responsibility to speak up. They might argue that it’s your responsibility to make it safe for them to share. After all, if the real or perceived costs of speaking up are too great, silence makes sense. Power dynamics, life experiences, emotion, and perception all shape whether we dance around issues or really talk about what’s at stake. Too often, we get stuck in a cycle of pointing...