I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
How to Use Your Voice when Silence is the Norm
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Hi Reader, I started writing this newsletter before multiple shootings happened in the United States last week. Soon after, people across industries were fired for comments and the limits of free speech shifted from what academics theory to poignant reality. Those events made the question even more urgent: If silence is the norm or expectation, then how do you actually use your voice? Here are three thoughts: 1) Broaden your definition of voiceVoice isn’t just what you say in a meeting. It’s how you move through the world. Posting something on social media or speaking up at an all-hands meeting are only two of many ways of using your voice. If voice is about your sense of perspective, impact, and how you want to shape the world, consider how you might impact those around you by how you show up day in and day out. Your voice isn’t just what you tweet or don’t tweet. It’s also whether you show up at home, at work, and in your relationships with kindness, grace, curiosity, joy, and steadiness. Ask yourself: How do you want to show up? What impact do you want to have on the people around you? How might you do that? 2) Choose the 5Ws and 1HIt so often seems like there are only two options when it comes to using your voice. Do or don’t. But voice isn’t an on off switch. Voice and silence aren’t binary. You don’t have to swing at ever pitch or take every piece of bait. In middle school, my English teacher taught me that the key to understanding a situation was to ask Who, What, Where, When, Why (5Ws) and How (1H). As I share in this LinkedIn post, those same factors provide us decision nodes for where we share of our thoughts, insights, expertise, and selves. 3) Remember that you have a choiceTime and again, I hear senior leaders in organizations say “my hands are tied! I can’t do anything about it.” And everyone who reports up to them thinks, “if you can’t do anything about it, then who can?” These leaders forget they have a choice. Are any of the choices attractive? Perhaps not. There are costs and benefits to every decision. But the quickest way to give up your power to influence people and outcomes is to forget that you have a choice. You have a choice about whether you listen to your own intuition. You have a choice whether you choose to share your thoughts, or not. You have a choice as whether you think a conversation, or round twelve of the same conversation, is worth it. Unlearning silence isn’t about saying everything to everyone all the time. It is about living and leading intentionally in ways that are aligned with your values. How will you choose to live your values today? Elaine When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…
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How to Use Your Voice
I help leaders unleash the talent on their teams and reclaim their power by unlearning silence. I’m the author of the USA Today Bestselling book on Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024). My vision is a future in which each individual knows, uses, and chooses where they lend their voice.
Hi Reader, As humans, we're incredibly attune to how costly speaking up can be. If the cost of sharing our perspectives, insights, expertise, or ourselves is too high, then it makes sense that we wouldn't want to incur those costs. But what if we’re making these choices to speak up or stay silent based on incomplete analysis? I don’t know about you, but I don’t typically sit around and do a slow pro/con evaluation. The calculation of whether to speak up is typically split-second and often...
Hi Reader, Why don’t smart, capable people speak up? One unexpected reason is what psychologists call expert blindness. When you’re really good at something, you can forget – or be blind to – the fact that others can’t always see what you see or do what you do. Research often focuses on how expert blindness makes it difficult for experts to teach their expertise to others. But I want to focus on another gnarly side effect of being an expert – you can easily underestimate the power of your...
Hi Reader, Whose responsibility is it to make a conversation productive? You might argue that it’s their responsibility to speak up. They might argue that it’s your responsibility to make it safe for them to share. After all, if the real or perceived costs of speaking up are too great, silence makes sense. Power dynamics, life experiences, emotion, and perception all shape whether we dance around issues or really talk about what’s at stake. Too often, we get stuck in a cycle of pointing...